I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
