their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Randomize
