Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
