is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
