After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Hippo gnu deer
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
