just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
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