Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
