oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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