Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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