Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
