Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Christians are straight up FREAKS

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(507): View more from Minnesota

As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.

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(478): View more from Georgia

I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?

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(240): View more from Maryland

you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters

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(858): View more from California

Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.

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(509): View more from Washington

im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.

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(631): View more from New York

I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever

Fav 22 3607 892
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(309): View more from Illinois

One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work

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