He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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