All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
