its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
