He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
