You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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