Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
