he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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