i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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