My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
