the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
