i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
