Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
