Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
