talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
