We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
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