if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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