***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
