What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
