I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The struggles of a small town man whore
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
