my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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