Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
