im drinking this country out of the recession.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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