I'm eating all of the evidence.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
