Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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