I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
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