4 words: hood of his car
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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