Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize