dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize