Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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