it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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