Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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