no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
i believe in u and ur pee
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
