Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
