Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
