I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
worst night to have a conscience
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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