Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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