Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It's shark week go big or go home
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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