24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
