We named our party play list daddy issues
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
