he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
