Have you finally orgasmed yet?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
