when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
