is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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