dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize