I just made out with a guy for $7.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
