I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just googled if crying burns calories
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
