I like to think it a success when the cops are called
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
