I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Randomize
