Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
