# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
