are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
